Jennifer and Ryan wanted to celebrate, bless, dedicate and honor their son Hunter who was turning 1 year old.  While they both have strong spiritual beliefs, they do not belong to any specific church and so began the search for a minister who could honor their individual perspectives and help to create a ceremony that would be joyous, warm and honor Hunter's unique role in the world and his relationship to Spirit.  From the moment that Jennifer spoke with me it was clear that there was a connection between us and so we began to co-create their very special celebration and blessing ceremony.

Hunter's grandparents, godparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends all gathered to share a special day with them and also to accept their own role in Hunter's life.  The Baby Blessing Ceremony opened with a lovely Unity Candle Ritual (above) in which Jennifer & Ryan honored their own connection with spirit, their commitment to love, nurture and support Hunter and the divine light that is in us all.

The ceremony continued with the community, grandparents and godparents (left) joyously accepting their special roles in Hunter's life. 

A final ritual was incorporated in which water was used to dedicate Hunter's head, heart, hands and body to serve in his own unique way as God intends. 

Jennifer, Ryan and the community that gathered all agreed that this was indeed a special day filled with warmth, joy, and spirit.  Thank you Jennifer & Ryan for allowing me to be such an important part in welcoming your son.  I look forward to more wonderful celebrations with you!

My husband is an ordinary man who works each day, struggles with his own life issues, tries to be a good parent and husband and is dedicated to his Zen practice.  On a day to day basis, he may not do anything extraordinary but this should not be confused with how much he may be valued or how he has impacted someone's life-in this case mine. 

When I first met Jamie, as with all couples, we spoke about our dreams, hopes and wishes.  We encouraged each other to take steps along life's path that would allow each of us to live a more vibrant, loving and compassionate life.  And while for some couples, these conversations fade over time or get lost in the day to day living of life, Jamie has never underestimated my desire to learn, grow, be challenged, and to find work that allowed me to live from my passion. 

Over the past thirteen years, he has provided me with an extraordinary gift;  he has given me the space, emotional and financial support and encouragement to pursue my dreams and live my passion.  While the path has at times taken me away from him, or caused us to experience tension in our marriage; he has been steadfast in his belief of me, us and our life together.   All of which has allowed me to stand in the world unafraid to be the person that I truly am.  From this solid state of being, I am able to help others honor and celebrate their lives.   

For many of us, we live our lives within a daily structure we are familiar with and do not speak about the profound impact someone may have on our lives. The simple fact for me is that Jamie's generosity of spirit, heart and his faith in me has been anything but ordinary-and if truth be told, I can give him a run for his money! Thank you Jamie.  So take just one small moment tonight or tomorrow, and let someone know that their simple day to day support and love is not taken for granted.

Andrew and Emily (my niece) were married in an interfaith ceremony which combined Jewish and Taoist culture.  Held at Hakone Gardens in Saratoga, California, this lovely Japanese garden was the perfect spot.  They were married under a colorful and playful Chuppah (a tradition in Judaism) and began their ceremony by circling seven times. 
In the Jewish tradition, this circling has many interpretations, but for Andrew and Emily, the significance was tied to the mystical belief that each circle represented the removal of one of seven shells of solitude that encrust the soul.  Upon completion on the circling, the soul is open and ready to be surrounded by the light of their beloved and the creation of a seven fold bond. 

Throughout their ceremony their individual beliefs and shared vision was celebrated and honored with a lightness and joy that allowed for both laughter and tears. 

Their ceremony ended with both a lovely water ritual, honoring the Taoist philosophy of the changing nature of our lives and the unending energy of  life and the Jewish tradition of the breaking of the glass.  

Congratulations Emily and Andrew and may you have many years of happiness and health.  I love you both!

Generosity of heart manifests itself in many ways.  We can offer our help and support when it is called for; offer our time and money to support causes that matter to us; and quietly work in the background to provide support for those we do not even know.  While most of us readily offer our help to friends and family when it is needed (sometimes without being asked), or donate time or money to organizations that help others; we don't often think about helping strangers we do not know. 

Kyle (a pseudonym) did just this when learning about a family who was struggling to put together enough funds to move out of a relatives home and into an apartment. Their living situation was causing emotional conflict and began to seriously impact the emotional well being of the couples marriage and their daughter.  Hearing about this, Kyle approached a mutual friend who arranged through the church to provide an anonymous gift to this family.  Kyle received no recognition nor feedback on this generosity.  When asked, why would you do this and keep it anonymous? Kyle's response was "I had it, they didn't.  I knew if I put myself in their position, their pride might prevent them from accepting my gift, or they would feel beholding to me."   As it turns out, throughout Kyle's life, there have been several other times that this anonymous generosity has been offered.  Kyle lives an ordinary life, working each day and sending time with friends and family.  While not rich, Kyle continues to offer help while maintaining a low profile.  If this help is in the form of monetary support, where possible, Kyle remains anonymous. 

These small ordinary acts of generosity can have extraordinary impact on people's lives.  For the family who was the beneficiary of Kyle's funds, they were able to show financial stability by putting down a security deposit and first and last months rent on an apartment and quickly moved into their own home.  In the process, they were able to heal the past years difficulty and to move on with their lives.  They in turn when able, now reach out to help others.     Please share your stories of someone who impacted your life or how you impacted someone else's life.

Marta and Greg were married this summer at the Barn at Gibbett Hill.  When we first met, I knew I wanted to work with them.  They clearly loved each other and were focused on making their ceremony special and memorable.  As we began working together, I appreciated the care they took with each detail of the ceremony.  The questions they asked and their active role in co-creating the ceremony with me; and special and memorable it was!  Through careful selections of readings, music, the inclusion of a special stuffed animal used by the ring bearer to bring the rings down the aisle, personalized vows written by Greg and Marta, and a reflection written specifically for them; we all smiled, laughed, cried and honored their relationship, their family and friends and their life together. I feel honored to have been a part of their most important day.

Most of us live ordinary lives. We have jobs, maybe children, pets, friends, family and  hobbies that we love.  While we move through our lives experiencing a range of emotions and feelings; each day can feel and seem like a repeat of the day before or the day that will follow.  We can forget that each day is a gift and is filled with newness and excitement.  We have a choice of how we relate to each moment of our lives, opening to the potential that each moment, hour, and day is new, fresh and infused with energy and an aliveness and excitement that turns our days into a lovely adventure.

I am fortunate that I am reminded of this every day when I see my friend Bettina.  She is an accomplished woman with an MBA from a prestigious school and had a career as a successful management consultant.  She made a choice after her second child was born to remain at home for the next few years so she could be a full-time mom.  Each day that I spend time with her and her children (she is almost never without them for long!) I am aware of how she is fully available and present for them.  It's not that she engages with them in a calm and loving way; it is that as she is delighted by each moment she spends with them.  She is excited to see who they will be when they wake-up, what new things they will learn, and how they will interact with people and their environment.  She approaches each moment as if it were fresh and new, and when I walk into her home, there is an aliveness that is contagious.  There is nothing ordinary about her days, nor the impact she will have on her children as they learn this approach to each day.

Each of us has the possibility to approach every moment and the people we encounter with this same delight.  In doing so, the ordinary minutes, hours and days become infused with life, turning the ordinary into the extraordinary.  I would love to hear your stories, so please comment or write to me. 

As of next week this series will be posted on Thursdays as I introduce a new series of blogs.  Each Monday I will focus on a ceremony that I have had the fortune of co-creating with the participants and naturally officiating at the ceremony.  Please join me as we honor and celebrate our lives!

  

I have been traveling over the past 2 weeks quite a bit.  In general, most of the service people at the train station and airports, while courteous, made limited human contact, and kept a distance.  I watched at the airport as several people, frustrated and anxious, were treated with efficiency but little warmth.  So as I was waiting in line I became glued to one ticket agent; as I observed her customers laughing, smiling and visibly relieved after checking bags, changing seats and handling whatever business they needed.  Clearly she was offering something to her customers that others were not.  By this time, I had been waiting in line for 30 minutes, was tired and anxious and yes, expecting to be efficiently taken care of, but did not expect to have my mood altered by kindness.

I was fortunate to be this agent's next customer.  As I approached Mary, (the name tag revealed), gave me a big smile, looked me in the eye and asked me  "How are you today?" with the warmth of a dear friend.  In that moment, I could feel my body relax and knew that someone really cared about helping me.  As it turns out, Mary herself had been working for over 7 hours and when I thanked her warmth, compassion and heart connection, she beamed and told me that is what she was committed to doing every day.  She said "Life could be hard or sweet, and my job is to help people get to the sweetness, even in hard or stressful times."   In the 5 minutes she spent with me, my mood shifted, I began to smile, relax, look other people in the eye and pass on a bit of her kindness at the airport, as I instinctively began to help strangers who were fumbling with bags, needed a seat or where I simply met their eyes and smiled.

This ordinary everyday person, touches lives each day with a conscious intention that provides compassion, love and a possibility for others to be on the receiving end of kindness and grace.  Small acts of heart, ripple out into the world and make a difference that often goes unnoticed.    For those who are wondering I did send a large testimonial on her behalf to her boss!

When I relocated back to the Boston area in 2003, I had several furniture items that I no longer needed.  Perhaps it was fate or simply luck that led me to HGRM, and a truly remarkable couple and group of volunteers who were making a difference in peoples lives.  When Larry, the driver, arrived to pick up my furniture, we spoke about HGRM.  Larry explained that he was a volunteer and board member and very quickly had me committing to volunteering myself! 

The next week I met Barbara and Ira, the founders of the organization and over the next few months heard the stories and witnessed the small miracles that were occurring each day at HGRM; simply because Barbara and Ira opened their hearts and home to help. 
So here is their story:

Barbara and Ira are a down-to-earth, modest couple who had raised a family and were active in their community.  In the early 1990's, they heard about a women who had fled El Salvador in fear for her life, arriving here with few if any possessions.  Barbara and Ira quickly stepped in; putting a call out to their neighbors and asking them to donate anything that could help this women set-up her home.  The response was overwhelming, with furniture, bedding, kitchen items and essentials being delivered to their home. 

After Barbara and Ira gave her all the items needed to set-up her apartment, they looked around their driveway and basement and saw that they had so much left over, with more coming in!  Instead of turning items away or calling an agency such as Goodwill, they continued to offer goods to people in need.  Word of mouth spread and before they knew it, they had started HGRM!  In 1999, a group of supporters joined forces with Barbara and Ira and incorporated HGRM into a non-profit organization.  Today HGRM, a mostly volunteer organization, is housed in a 9400 square foot facility and services over 300 families a month providing essential household items to the needy at no cost. Barbara and Ira remain quite active! 

Barbara and Ira, from a simple act of heart, have touched and impacted so many lives.  Not only have they helped thousands of families, they have helped those that wish to volunteer and help others, find a home to do so.  If you are interested in learning more about HGRM please visit their website, and if you able consider a donation. 

While many of us may not have the time needed to undertake the efforts that Ira and Barbara have, we can touch people's lives in a meaningful way with one act of heart, sending a ripple of compassion and love out into our world.  The smallest act can make a big difference!    

Over the past two days, I have experienced a spectrum of emotions from joy, feelings of success, fear, frustration, peacefulness and stress.  While in any given day these emotions may come and go, I am usually in my "routine" and have space to inquire into them as they arise and fall away, allowing life and energy to simply flow.  When I am in my own environment, with all the little things that provide me comfort; my cats, walks outside, sitting in my garden, and connections with people I love, I have great capacity to remain grounded and be at peace.

Two days ago, in the blink of an eye, circumstances and plans were changed as I faced the fear (fear does a number on me!) of loosing my dear friend and a desire-no it was more than that-a need-to help her through an emergency surgery.  It wasn't that there was a choice or a struggle to decide if I would go-I was going!  Rather, it was the process of re-adjusting my brain; all those well thought out plans, brilliant scheduling of appointments that just "fit" everyone in, and my sense of knowing exactly what my days would be filled with and what I would accomplish over the next 2 weeks, that threw me into the realm of the unknown-not a comfortable place!  Once again I found myself back in an  automatic mode where I fluctuated from acting as if I were 14 to the wisdom of  my 54 years.    Without even realizing it, I lost my grounding and connection to the peacefulness that allows me to flow with life.  Specifically I noticed that I have a hard time breathing and my chest felt constricted.  I was not happy! 

On the train to my friend, I happened to be reading Thich Nhat Hahn's new book "you are here" and was reminded once again, that regardless of what is occurring around me; in my inner landscape, I have the ability to remain grounded and be  at peace.  I simply need to remember to take a minute or more to come back to my breath.  In that moment, I experience the present moment and once again have the capacity to allow life's energy to flow.

So today I started my day with breathing and touching into the space inside where I simply "AM", and I am here!
 

Thirteen years ago my friend Be made an extraordinary choice.  At the time she was single and a professional Realtor, who having faced multiple challenges was finally beginning to enjoy her life, felt financially secure and was beginning to believe in a future different from her past.

The prior year, her brother, who had three children, had committed suicide.  While this was quite traumatic for Be, she realized that it was going to be a difficult road for his children and was committed to maintaining a relationship with them so she could provide support as they struggled with their loss.  On the year anniversary of his death, she traveled to Texas were the children were living to spend time with them.  What she discovered when she arrived was an intolerable situation.  Clearly the children age 14, 9 and 7 where not only being neglected, but apparently were living in a situation in which their physical, mental and emotional safety were at continual risk.  Without a thought, Be took all three children immediately out of the house and brought them home with her to the East Coast where she filed for and received temporary guardianship.

I have spent the last thirteen years in amazement as my friend has sacrificed her life and ambitions in order to give these children the love, support and counseling needed in order for them to have a chance to grow into functioning adults.  She did all of this without any financial help and little emotional support from the children's relatives.  Ultimately, Be made the decision to leave her job as a Realtor, taking an administrative job and sacrificing financial security so she could be home with the children.

Today, because of her extraordinary willingness to step in, these children had a chance to heal and become contributing people in the world.  The oldest has been serving in the Marines for 6 years and has recently married; the middle boy is employed full time in the service industry, is married and a step dad to two kids who adore him; and the girl is a junior at at a top rated college where she maintains a 3.97 gpa.

The past 13 years have been anything but easy for Be, and when I asked her why, given all she had been through, she chose to take this on, she looked at me as if I had two heads and said..."it's not like I had a choice."  Well yes, you did have a choice my dear friend, and many people would have allowed the "State" and/or "system" to step in, but with great courage and conviction you took these children into your heart and home and in that moment became a role model of compassion and grace for us all.   I am blessed to have been a witness to your life and have you as my dearest friend.

Do you have a story?  Please let me know.