As an officiant and celebrant, I meet with many couples to discuss the creation of personalized wedding ceremonies.  There is always such excitement about this, until we come to the vows.  It is then that I get terrified looks and comments like, "I wouldn't even know where to begin".  While ultimately I may write vows for couples, I encourage them to try it themselves as it will have greater meaning for them. 

Some couples need little guidance, but for the most part, the couples I work with are relieved when I tell them that I will send then what I call my "vow cheat sheet".  This is a very brief description of how to go about putting together vows, and then a select sampling of 8-12 vows that I cull out for them based upon my getting to know them.  From this selection, they will either find one they really like and "tweak"it to make it their own, or cut and paste from several of the ones that I carefully select for them.  There are times when couples send me a draft of there favorite sentiments, wording and phrases and then I smooth it out for them to ensure a nice flow of words. 

For those couples who want to start from scratch, I have put together a 4 step process that can be easily followed.  The important aspect to remember is that while vows are in fact serious, adding stress to the wedding planning process can be eliminated by simply beginning with what others have written. 

There are only so many ways, words and sentiments to discuss love and commitment.  If your officiant does not provide you with samples or you don't like what they have, get on line and do a search.  There are thousands of lovely vows already written that you can adapt, edit and cut and paste from.  Most importantly have fun!